But We Don’t Know How To Love was new to me, as I had never undertaken to read a full poetry collection. In it, the poet also experimented with various forms and structures that I do not know enough to appreciate. However, the collection also felt familiar, as in a close friend with whom I had parted ways with but still held their memories tightly in my heart. I largely account this to its central themes of Love, Shame and Guilt, all which I believe make up huge parts of the human experience in our relationship with Yahweh.

This experience is split into three different Acts, each with its core theme. And the Acts themselves are split into the several chapters that make up the book — and yes, the chapters too have their individual core themes. It’s a lovely order to the story the collection is telling. One in which you get to progress and grasp more aspects that may not have been obvious.

In the first poem that intrigued me, ‘Three Days’, the poet takes on the perspective of a close disciple of Jesus. He tries, as he does for most of ACT I, to understand the so-called power, and by extension love of God. But, as is a repeated theme throughout the Act, he is only able to see through his human perspective of what power truly means; this is seen in these lines: “I watched/ Hoping – waiting – for him to call down fire/ Waiting for him to show God’s power” and when it finally seemed like his expectations would come to pass, it was instead:

A prayer, A cry
But not for fire.
A prayer to die

A callback to one of the most important moments in Christianity’s history, when even Christ’s closest supporters and friends had no choice but to give up hope. And the rest of the poem — and ACT I, at large — subverts those human expectations in a way that could only be understood and appreciated in retrospect.

The pantoum, ‘Flowers’ opens chapter 3 under ACT II. In this, the poet immediately presents us with the ever contentious idea of a love that is unacceptable to God. He presents this, with not much subtlety, using the metaphor of flower allergies, making it easy enough to agree with and obvious enough to see the literal meaning.

Don’t you love them too?
I bought flowers you would love
How are you sneezing?
When I bring them to you.

ACT II of this collection simultaneously contains my best and least favourite poems of the collection. The least favourite being the prose poem, ‘The Craving’ for its more obvious and literal language. I admit, this is a personal preference, as I tend to lean towards allegories, metaphors or poems that have that tinge of a ‘romance’ to its language.

I find this Act to be the most relatable, as the poems contained within it are dedicated to exploring the flaws and frailty of our human condition.

Chapter 4, with the core theme of Rebellion contains two poems that I believe are worth noting to the topic of human flaw. The first, ‘The Day Man Outgrew God’ plays around with the idea of religious extremism as a means, not to know and please the Maker, but to satisfy our selfish desires. This idea is summed up in the line:

When a god didn’t meet the needs of man, man changed, either the god, or the rules of the religion, but never man himself.

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Then, the piece I have tagged my best from the collection, ‘I love You 1000’, contained in Chapter 4, almost seems like a letter any one of us humans would write to the Creator. A statement of our human frustration stemming from both our inability to understand and our inadequacy to love Him. Then, said frustration morphs into anger and hatred of God.

It speaks of a different aspect of rebellion in the sense that, yes, man tends to be desperately wicked and abandon God, but even in that, something in man still strives to please God. Though, it is not accepted, and he gives up and gives in to other things to soothe the desire. In the end, he still desires God.

We see God’s understanding in His response of ‘I love you too’; even in human limitation that leads us to turn the desire to love him into hating him, He will respond to our hatred with love.

A thousand breakdowns I can’t explain.
A thousand bouts of philosophy,
A thousand heartfelt ‘I hate you God.’
A thousand replies, ‘I love you too.’

I am of the opinion that no other poem within this Act captures our human experience than this. An honourable mention is ‘Calm the Storm’ but the breakaway from the rhythm towards the end is enough to take me out of the piece’s world each time.

On to the concluding ACT III, which, in two chapters, paints Christ’s sacrifice on the cross from the perspective of him as human and as God. ‘Psalms 22: The Lamentation of Christ’ shows the plethora of emotions that Christ must have felt in what I like to think of as his most human moment. Pure agony, yet conviction in His Father’s plan; it is a position that we humans most times see as impossible, yet one we are called to emulate. The piece is concluded fittingly by the following lines:

Even though I wish for another way,
Even though I cannot feel your presence,
Even though I am alone, and it hurts
Into your hands, I commit my spirit.

And the final poem I include in this review, ‘Portray Your Love For Me’, is the concluding piece of the collection . In this, our human faults and inability to love is highlighted once again. But, it is not so they can be shamed, but instead contrasted with the greater love of the Creator.

Nothing I could do could create my love for you,
So let me rest my head, and profess yours.
I cannot be righteous by my hands,
So let me be a sinner that needs grace.

The poet acknowledges that he cannot love as he ought to; however in that realisation is the freeing truth that he can instead rely on the Creator and identify himself as loved of the Lover — and that is enough. That is all Yahweh is really asking of us.

Over one book, three acts, 7 chapters and tons of intriguing poems, we have arrived at the conclusion. Love: it is indeed a fitting end to this story of shame and guilt. A beautiful conclusion to this romance between husband and wife, Creator and creation.

“Maybe I should pray again,” “Maybe I should write again,” “Maybe I should try again.” These were the thoughts that filled my head as I read this book. And I know, most works of creative endeavour would do that to you but, for personal reasons, this was different.

So, that’s why I hope that, to as many people that pick up this book, or even read this review, those are the sort of thoughts that settle in their hearts. I’m more than certain that that would bring the highest joy to the author.

Whoever designed the interior was skilled, enough to make the rooms shine through my photos. The same photos that had developed a dull sheen over the years and got duller each time Mum begged me to return to the job I quit. Or when she was too weak, and she would instead cry to me from her bed to get married – clients rejected my photos on those days.

What was I doing? A fake capturing a true artist’s work? Would my photos do justice? Would they be accepted?

I looked through the pictures, and the vomit spilled. I ran to my handbag to get and use my emergency nylon.

After dumping the nylon, I returned to work to meet some woman going through my camera. I stomped towards her and snatched the device from her. She looked surprised, then her head clicked.

“You’re the photographer. Sorry about that, I understand how personal your work can be.” It was hard to stay angry after that.

“I’m the interior designer, so I wanted to see the photos.” She was the artist? She must be disappointed. “I usually capture them myself, but I like the feeling I get while looking at your photos.” Huh? “I can tell that you like what you see. That’s encouraging coming from another artist. Thank you…”

“Amina.” I handed her my business card and for the first time in a while, I wasn’t embarrassed to do it.

She smiled. As she left, I wondered if I could get others to look at my photos and read my thoughts like she did. That’s what drove me to pursue this in the first place; the ability to connect with others without words.

Breathing freely, I raised my camera, determined to capture the essence of her work to hopefully connect with everyone who looked at them.